Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Keyword Extravaganza!

Hey kids! While we’re all waiting for both L.K and I do finish the last book (SOB!) I thought I’d post a little compilation of something that I’ve found hilarious.

Keywords Searches. Now on blogs, as most of you probably know, you can keep track of how people have stumble across your website. Most of you have found this blog by searching “Fear Street” or “Shadyside Snark” on Google. But some of you, poor souls, have come across our website by searching some really, REALLY different keywords.

Top Ten WTF Searches!

10. Increased death rate for shadyside for 2009

You know, I like this search. Someone out there was CONCERNED about the increasing amounts of deaths in a fictional town last year. Even though that town really hasn’t been featured in a book since 1999. But it’s the thought that counts, right?

9. Teen camel toe (x 100000000) + Skirt camel toe

Oh MAN, do people love Teen Camel Toe! I’m pretty sure searching this links to the book where Jade wears a catsuit, and L.K. was really concerned that she would have a camel toe. So thanks L.K.! for helping us achieve 100 000 hits by attracting 10 year old boys that aren’t ready to look at real vagina’s yet ☺

8. Incidents of boob touching + Heroine boobs touching in parties
This is also from the 10 year old boy fan group, I imagine. Although “incidents” seems like kind of a grown up word for young boys to be using. Maybe this is an actual “incident” that someone is looking up?

7. I would wrestle the babysitter + BABYSITTING WRESTLING.
OH LORD, I would TOTALLY wrestle the babysitter too! This search might have been mine…

6. Cute & sweet homosexual + Homosexual sweet kids
Well this one is my fault. I MAY have titled my review of the second Fear Street Seniors “Sweet Homosexual Zombie Child Kisses”. But in my defense, there were homosexual child Zombie kisses!! So really, if we’re pointing fingers, we should really be pointing them at R.L. Right?

5. George olsen maine prison 2009
This one required some detective work. Who is George Olsen? Why is he in a Maine prison (presumably)? Unfortunately, since I’m NOT a detective, I just retyped that search into Google and half-hearted looked at the results. There was a bunch about Boy George in jail! I also couldn’t find any mention of Shadyside Snark, so I’m confused as to how this person found our website. But hey, just imagine how confused THEY were when they arrived at a Fear Street fan website!

4. Lisa Blume sex tape

Also requiring detective work! Now the only link for a Lisa Blume is to an IMBD reference. Lisa Blume has only been in one movie: “The Hills Have Thighs”. Which is a porn, right? WRONG! It’s an “Appalachian Comedy” where Lisa Blume plays Velveeta Adams, a lesbian twin who is forced to live in a basement. That movie is UNBELIEVABLY not a porn. However, another “The Hills Have Thighs” was released in 2010, and it is totally a porn. But Lisa Blume does not star in it. Another confused horny man stumbles upon our fair website!

3. Milfs Blind date doing the splits
I feel like there must be a certain video that this person is looking for. Like maybe on the old show “Blind Date”? Some milf did the splits?

2. Didn’t mean to hurt your feelings sweetheart please forgive me

Ah yes. The old “look-on-a-Fear-Street-Fan-page” to find advice on how to get someone to forgive you. I also feel that this person must be young. Hurt feelings?

1. The story of Phoebe the zombeh. She's not happy unless she's gnawing on human flesh.

Finally! Someone after my own heart! I really can’t express how happy I am to know that there is another person out there with an extreme love of Zombies. I want to know about this Phoebe. Is there fan fiction I could read?!

And finally, the Oh so close runners up!

Blogspot + shadyside snark
Like you couldn’t have put those two ideas into Really?
I bet they got to read some sweeeet stories about some camel toes!
How to craft fists of steel
Corky coragan everywhere
She was in a large amount of books, wasn’t she?
Peter Sturdevant
This found me mostly Facebook accounts. Somewhere, some crazy girl has an epic crush, and has been googling the shit out of him
“Killers Kiss” “Sweat”
Ahh delicious. Also, judging by R.L.'s love of grotesque kisses, no wonder someone found our little blog.
Old Cheerleaders Never Die…
Menacing! Is this true!?