Friday, October 31, 2014

Party Games, or “Murder Isn’t a Game, Right?”


Hello all Fear Street lurvers, and Happy Halloween! And what a treat we have this Halloween, what with R. L.'s NEW Fear Street book. Y'all can probably imagine the joy this book has brought to us at Shadyside headquarters. R. L., you are amazing. Please don't ever stop again, we love every last cheesy, terrifying word.


Let’s get right into it. That’s what you’re here for, right? A recap on the first new Fear Street book since … I should know this.  Luckily Wikipedia does all the work for me and he hasn’t published a Fear Street since 2005. The good news? Guys, this book is good. It will not disappoint. I felt like it had everything I can hope for in a Fear Street book, and then some.
The bad news? There isn’t any. Everything is wonderful.

I’m going to put a little spoiler alert up here, which I normally don’t do because we assume everyone already read the Fear Streets when they were twelve. But this, Party Games, this is new. Maybe some of you are like A. M. and I and pre-ordered your copy, but maybe you didn’t and haven’t actually read this yet. But there are spoilers here – this is a recap, not a review. Also, sorry for the length. I got excited.

Part One

Party Games takes place in the present. There’s all kinds of awesome things you find in 2014, like Facebook, and texting, and Netflix. Obviously every teen has a cell phone, so I can’t wait to find all the creative ways to get around this problem – most things that happen in horror books or movies could have been easily prevented by some solid communications, so we’ll see how this plays out. I’d actually love to see R. L. use technology as part of the horror sometime – idk, like ghost cyber bullying? That would be cool.

I really felt like this book was setting up Shadyside as it is today. There was a lot of time spent introducing people, some who played zero part in the plot whatsoever. I’m hoping that this is the “cast” of characters who’s going to be in each of the novels – I loved it when a character you already knew from an older book turned up in a new one, even if it’s just a cameo. It doesn’t have to be Seniors styles, but I like to keep up with who’s going out with who.

There is a Fear at Shadyside High – I think that might be the biggest deal of all here. Other than in the Seniors books, I don’t think a Fear had ever gone to Shadyside, and I like it. It means that the creepy Fear family is going to have a much more active role in the hauntings of the town.

Our fearless main character of this inaugural book is Rachel. She is poor, but newly poor, and pretty. In the world of Shadyside, being poor and ugly is usually a death sentence, but I think things balance out and she’ll be okay. Her father used to be a director of an investment company, but now is a shift manager at Walmart. I’m assuming due to the recession? I like the realistic tone here. Rachel’s mom is recovering from a bad bout of Lyme disease, which seems like a really random disease to have.

So Rachel is picking up the slack by working at the popular burger joint all the kids hang out at, Lefty’s. She works hard and is often sweaty and covered in grease, things that can be a real drag when you’re trying to make it in high school.

She is in love with Brendan Fear, who is smart, handsome and popular. I also like that the Fear kid isn’t some scary goth – that fits in way too much with what we’d expect. Brendan is super into video games and there are rumours he’s already working to program his own games.

His father is Oliver Fear, an investment banker and billionaire, and it looks like he runs the town with money and power. He built an enormous stone mansion on Fear Street for all the towns people to be in awe of.

Rachel is working a busy shift when Brendan enters the burger joint, along with some of the who’s who in Shadyside High: Kerry, a jock, and his girlfriend Patti, a beautiful girl who looks like a doll, who Rachel knows from childhood. Rounding out their little group is Eric, a joker, who’s always flirting with Rachel.

As he leaves, Brendan invites Rachel to his 18th birthday party, an all-night thing at his family’s estate on Fear Island.

In walks Amy, Rachel’s best friend, who warns Rachel not to go to the party, because she’s heard wild things happen there. Rachel’s pretty much like, are you kidding, the man of my dreams wants to do wild things, I’m there. Amy is introduced: chubby and redheaded, all bad signs when it comes to survival. But she doesn’t really play a significant part in the book at all, so I’m hoping she’s being introduced for later.

It comes out that Rachel has a boyfriend – sort of. Mac’s the good looking bad boy who transferred to Shadyside High last year for fighting issues. She’s been trying to ditch Mac for awhile, which means she changed her FB profile from “In a relationship” to “It’s complicated.” A sure sign things are over! But she’s not being a bitch, actually she’s scared of him because he has a bad temper and can be controlling and possessive, she’s not sure he won’t get violent with her. Oh yes, the Fear Street abusive relationship. It did not take long for that to get in there. However, I feel that R. L. is much more sensitive about the subject matter now. As opposed to making Rachel horny, Mac’s possessiveness makes her wonder if he’s a psycho. Literally, one of the chapters is charmingly called “Is Mac A Psycho?” It made me laugh. But she does find a dead rat in her bed and suspects that Mac put in there, so clearly she needs to be away from this boy.

Rachel goes to a high school basketball game, where she flirts with Eric, then is accosted by Mac outside, who warns her not to go to Brendan’s party. She breaks up with him unequivocably, which is pretty awesome. Props to her for using her words.

Part Two

All the invitees to the party hop aboard a catamaran, which will take them to Fear Island. She sits with Patti, Kerry and Eric. There are some other kids aboard, some from her high school, but she’s surprised at what a small crowd it is and wonders why Brendan invited her. Mac hides in the bushes and watches them leave, like a great big stalker.

They sail by the Fear House that’s been built on the island, basically a three-storey mansion of evil. I love it when people refer to their “little cottage by the lake” when they know it’s eighteen times the size of your house. They have to hike through the woods to get to the house from the lake, and are led by guides Antonio and Miguel.

The pilot of the boat, Randy (aside: isn’t it the captain of the boat? Or is that just me, I know nothing about boats), slips off the dock and falls into the lake, hitting his head on the way in. Randy doesn’t come up, only a big pool of blood. The two guides say they’ll take care of it and the kids are hustled along the path towards the house. Already there’s an ominous atmosphere of tension and dread. Good. Oh, and conveeeeniently, there’s no cell reception on Fear Island. Of course there isn’t.

The staff does a poor job of pretending all is well, looking shifty and harassed, while they show the kids to their rooms where they can freshen up. Rachel shares with two other girls, April and Geena. As they talk, the discover that each of them found roadkill in their beds – wonder if it’s a warning.

They meet with everyone in the ballroom, lit entirely by candles. If they knew the Fear’s history, they probably wouldn’t have been so keen to light everything by fire!

Brendan is at the centre of the room, welcoming them. He tells them Randy is fine and they need to start partying. There’s beer – he mentions 18 is legal in their state, is that true? I thought all of the states was a 21 age minimum (ridiculous, by the way). He has two cousins there, Kenny and Morton. Also, there is way more food there than people, which makes Rachel wonder what’s going on.

Anyway, Brendan says he wants to party like his ancestors. This should be a flashing red light. They didn’t party in a safe way at all. But apparently he just means old-fashioned games.
Rachel gets a beer (ooh, naughty) and Brendan comes over to talk with her. Rachel’s a bit of a flirt, and she pours it on for Brendan, who eats it up. Awww, young love. She’s flying pretty high, but excuses herself to the bathroom. There, she hears someone screaming for help, a young man that sounds an awful lot like Randy. When she tries to find him, her way is politely but firmly blocked my two servants, who shoo her away.

When she returns, the games have begun. They’ll play a scavenger hunt, looking for a list of creepy items hidden throughout the mansion. Brendan warns the attic is haunted. Delia, one of the girls, wants to go to the attic with Eric – Delia might be related to Suki, who undoubtedly would have a near-adult child by now. I hope Delia is the new Suki of Fear Street!

They are assigned partners, and Rachel is matched up with Brendan – he had the servants hide everything, so he could still play.

Before they leave, some of the girls accuse Brendan of the roadkill in bed, to scare them. Brendan goes white and shares one of his family’s secret ghost stories: his great-aunt Victoria had one love in life, taxidermy. She would stuff everything. She used to hide dead animals in unwanted guests’ beds, which is just so charming. She eventually stuffed herself, right there in the house.

Another Fear family story is passed around: about a hundred years ago, the Fear family hunted down all of their servants on this very island, for sport, and left their bodies in a hidden mass grave.

No need to worry about that, though. Brendan and Rachel set out, and he takes her to a hidden elevator. Their advantage falls short when it breaks down and everything goes dark. Brendan uses this time to make out with Rachel – he had actually turned off the elevator himself. Rachel is loving this party.

The couple get separated on the third floor, where Rachel is attacked by bats. She finally finds Brendan … hanging from the rafters. Underneath his body is a note:
ANYONE FOR A GAME OF HANGMAN?

Brendan comes running at Rachel’s scream. The hanged body is a mannequin, dressed in Brendan’s clothes. They think it’s a sick joke, until they hear another scream.

They find everyone freaking out in a bedroom, standing over Patti’s broken body, her limbs all contorted. Her note says:
TWISTER, ANYONE?

Only it’s not a joke, Patti is really dead.

Part Three

Everyone wants to get the hell off the island and call the police. As they are all freaking out, the lights go out, leading to more freaking out. Brendan leads them to a cabinet where the flashlights are kept, but they’ve disappeared. The lights come back on and they begin to suspect they’re being toyed with.
Brendan remembers there’s a security camera. They go check it out and see two masked men enter with hunting rifles a few hours earlier.

Time to get out of there. They make a run for the boat, only to see the catamaran leaving the dock, full of all the servants. They are left behind, alone with the hunters who seem keen on killing them off one by one. A crash is heard from behind the house.

A storm has blown in and no one can concentrate in the wind and rain. Rachel suggests they go back to the house. They can be hunted anywhere, but at least they’ll have shelter there. I’m not sure if I’m down with the logic, but okay. They go back, and discover Kerry is missing. They search around the back of the house, where there’s a construction area where work is being done on the house. Underneath a slab of concrete that’s been pushed over, is Kerry’s crushed lifeless body.
I WAS NEVER ANY GOOD AT JENGA

Everyone agrees the whole thing is sick (good consensus). Brendan tries to comfort Rachel, but she runs out to get some air. She stumbles into the library and discovers she’s not alone. A woman is there, all grey, surrounded by mist and animal parts. She’s sewing up her own side – it’s Victoria Fear!
Rachel freaks, gets everyone to come back to the library, which they find empty. Rachel looks completely insane. She runs away again, embarrassed and scared. Brendan finds her, kisses her and tells her no one will hurt her.

More screaming. Eric has been found strangled, dangling off a ladder.
CHUTES AND LADDERS ISN’T ALWAYS A BABY GAME

Rachel backs away, is grabbed from behind. It’s Mac, telling her she has to go with him, but Brendan interrupts and Mac flees.

Brendan gathers everyone in a theatre room to calm down. He pulls the curtains up to show the pile of their friends’ bodies. And the bodies start to move. Everyone screams, then gets angry/relieved as they realized it was all an elaborate plank. Brendan is killing himself laughing. He planned everything; calls the game Total Panic. A girl in heavy grey makeup comes in – the ghost of Victoria Fear was actually his cousin Karen. Rachel wonders if Brendan pretended liking her as well.

The two men in masks and rifles come in. Brendan tells them they’re late, but when they don’t respond he realizes something is wrong – they’re not the hired actors.

Part Four

One of the men looks familiar to Rachel. They start to rough up the kids, rounding them up and locking them in the basement, except for Brendan and Rachel. One of the guys has been laid off by Oliver Fear and wants to hold his kid for ransom.

They go to tie up Rachel and Brendan, but Mac busts in and tells them to give it up. Mac is shot. In the chaos, Rachel and Brendan make a run for it, heading to the elevator, then shimmying out a window down a tree to freedom. They run for Mac’s canoe at the docks but lose each other in the woods. Rachel hears a gunshot and hears the men saying they got the boy.

She runs blindly and falls into a pit of human bones. Instead of freaking out, she decides she’s going to survive. She piles up the bones and uses them to climb out of the pit. I like how strong and resourceful Rachel is, I’m a fan of this character. She makes a break for the lake, but doesn’t find the canoe. Hearing the men coming up behind her, she hides in the lake under the dock. The men don’t find her, but she hears a familiar voice calling her – Mac! He faked being shot to give them a chance to escape. He says he’ll take her to the canoe.

Only to lead her back to the men, who have Brendan alive but tied up. One of the men is Mac’s father! At first Mac wanted to protect Rachel, but now apparently he wants to protect his father. There’s a lot of confusion and the other man wants to kill Rachel, they get into a fight and in the mix, Rachel’s ponytail is cut off, which, as it turns out, is the only fatality in the book.

Just then, two cops show up, guns pointed. The armed men give up pretty quickly and are handcuffed. Brendan is pretty bossy with the cops, ordering them around. Once they’ve all hussled away and they are safe, Brendan turns to Rachel, smiling. He confesses those weren’t real cops, but more actors he hired, as scared as anyone there, but it worked to convince the inept kidnappers.

He’s laughing and Rachel kisses him, telling him, accurately, that he’s crazy.

A week later, Rachel is still upset by the events but is trying to get back into her life. She’s starting to see Brendan, and is really happy when her older sister Beth comes home from college to spend time with her.

At the end of the book, Brendan takes Rachel back to the Fear House to get her jacket she left behind. She walks into the library to see the real Victoria Fear wearing her jacket, skull face grinning at her as she sews up  animals.

Brendan laughs at her for believing in the ghost stories …

This book was such a great set up for the series. Lots of interesting characters (I did not go into all of them here, I hope I’ll get a chance to in later books). This used so many themes from the original Fear Streets: maybe paranormal stuff going around, a lot of poverty-induced anger, not to mention bringing the Fear family right into the mix here. I give Party Games 10 out of 10 hacked off ponytails. I am really excited to see what R. L. has for us next. Great to have you back!

Monday, September 29, 2014

The Vampire Club or "How Crazy Can R.L. get in 20 pages?"

I can't even tell you the mix of emotions I had reading an R.L. book for the first time in years. There was joy, nostalgia and a healthy dose of wtf-am-i-reading. Also, since I had never read "The Vampire Club" before, there wasn't too much nostalgia. So my reaction was pretty heavy on the WTF. 

"The Vampire Club" is a short story that was attached to the two Goodnight Kiss books and made into the compilation "Temptation". I can't for the life of me find out whether "The Vampire Club" was ever published before being attached to "Temptation" in 2012. So let's just say it may have been written in 2012, or maybe at some other point. Fact checking is not my forte. 

Since "The Vampire Club" didn't have its own tagline (or interesting cover), I checked out the tagline for the whole compilation. Sometimes evil is sealed with a kiss. ...Hmmm! That one almost made sense. Like evil can seduce you? I guess that's what the Goodnight Kiss books were about, so good on R.L. (or whoever actually makes up the taglines. It can't possibly be him).

The first line of "The Vampire Club" was seriously the best: "Starting at a new school can be a real pain in the neck". SEE WHAT HE DID THERE?! God, I've missed his writing. 

Anyhow, Pete is new to Forest Grove, after moving there from Shadyside just before his senior year started. The setting doesn't really make sense to me, since Pete could have easily just moved TO Shadyside, and nothing in the story would have changed. Whatever. Forest Grove sounds suspiciously like the Washington town that the Twilight series was set in, and yes, I am proud that I don't remember that name. (Forks. Dammit). Everything in Forest Groves is dark, shady, and covered in creepy ivy. Pete even remarks that is looks just like the Fear Street Woods! (Why are we in Forest Groves then?).        

Pete is trying to get through his first day at his new school, but is feeling pretty homesick. Once the home bell rings at 3pm, everyone starts running through the halls like they are trying to get to another class. Pete finally asks a girl from his home room about this fuckery. Nan (yes that's her name) answers that everyone is required to join a club after school that meets every day. Two things here: Pete thinks Nan is super hot. Like "On a scale from 1-10, she's definitely 150!" kind of hot (Pete is a total cock waffle, clearly), Second thing: Mandatory clubs? That's just another class, right? Pete doesn't think this is weird at all, and asks if there is a carpentry club since that's his hobby. Let's revisit that. As a 16 year old boy, his hobby is...carpentry. Pete definitely has to be a vampire, right? Because no one gets into carpentry as a hobby until they are at least 80.

Nan tells him she has a more exciting club for him to join. Since Pete is now in love with her after their 3-minute discussion, he follows her into the woods where he meets her boyfriend Lee and the rest of their club. They are called The Vampire Club.  It takes a while for Pete to suss out whether these weirdos think they are vampires but it turns out they are vampire hunters! Amazing. I think I was in a ghostbusting club at age 9, so I feel a connection to these people. Lee is all "we destroy vampires! They hunt in these woods but go to school with us in the daytime!". Pete is "unsure" whether or not they are fucking with him.  And honestly, since this is an R.L. novel, I have no idea either. Lee tells Pete that to be initiated into the club he has to kill a vampire. Pete is all "cool" and makes plans with them to meet up the next night for some huntin'. And at no point does he think it's weird that there are mandatory after-school clubs.

The next night, they all gather in the Forest Grove woods again, and walk in complete darkness for a little while. Finally, Lee sees something. A boy from their gym class, Jason, has just entered a clearing in the woods, dragging a dog along with him. As Pete watches, Jason lowers his head to the dogs neck! Lee is all gleeful: "He's drinking its blood!", and Pete turns away to be sick. Everyone laughs at Pete, and he runs home. He can't believe he was wimped out and blew his chance to be in the club with Nan! Hmm. Pete...

Pete decides that he's not going to chicken out. So he carefully files a log into a stake all night long. OMG what? Then just before daybreak (because vampires must return home to sleep during the day, Pete thinks. Clearly forgetting Jason is a boy from his gym class. In daylight.), he sneaks into Jason's house and slips into his bedroom. Pete thinks to himself that he can do it, he can kill the mighty vampire Jason, FOR NAN. And with that, he shoves the stake into Jason's heart and runs home. 

As soon as he gets home, he calls his obsession, Nan. Nan is really glad he called, because she feels bad about the prank that Lee pulled last night. Prank? What prank? Um, yeah, Pete, Jason is Lee's friend. Lee got him to pretend to be a vampire to freak out Pete. Oh. 

The book ends with "What did you call to tell me, Pete?", which I totally loved. The short story wasn't too bad! I actually wasn't sure what direction R.L. would take it. I kinda thought Pete would be a vampire and try to eat all the lame-o club kids. Or maybe Nan and Lee were the leader of some sort of cult that thought they were vampires. All of these situations would have been okay with me, but I liked that R.L. went with Pete being a total crazy person. Seven stakes carefully crafted out of logs over the course of an evening of insanity out of nine. 

But can we discuss the real thing that's bothering me about this book? How did no one care that there were mandatory clubs after school every day?!

Monday, September 22, 2014

Guys. It's almost time!

Alright Fear Street fans, there is so much news that I had to make a post. My first post in YEARS! I’ve missed you all. I’ve missed discussing the finer points of R.L.’s writing with L.K. Most of all, I’ve missed reading amazing Fear Street books!

Let’s start us off: As I'm sure you all know, R.L. is releasing new Fear Street books this fall. In fact, the first one, Party Games, will be released on September 30th! So soon. Don’t worry, I’ve already placed my pre-order. Here is the description of Party Games:

Her friends warn her not to go to Brendan Fear's birthday party at his family's estate on mysterious Fear Island. But Rachel Martin has a crush on Brendan and is excited to be invited. Brendan has a lot of party games planned. But one game no one planned intrudes on his party—the game of murder.

As the guests start dying one by one, Rachel realizes to her horror that she and the other teenagers are trapped on the tiny island with someone who may want to kill them all. How to escape this deadly game? Rachel doesn't know whom she can trust. She should have realized that nothing is as it seems… on Fear Island.

Soooo…basically “All-Night Party”? 

I’m into it. I mean, really, how could I not read any new Fear Street books? I cannot WAIT to read this book (although I should point out, I did not spring for overnight shipping. I guess I can wait a little bit.)!  To prepare his true fans for the release of the new Fear Street books, R.L. has done a little bit of promotion that I thought I would highlight. There was an article published on thebigthrill.org, which is an online publication of the International Thrillers Writers, which I did not know was a thing.  Here is the link to the article: http://www.thebigthrill.org/2014/01/special-to-the-big-thrill-r-l-stine-and-the-return-of-fear-street-by-dawn-ius/.

Great, right? Here are some of the talking points for those of you who don’t feel like reading an article about R.L. Stine (why are you reading this blog then?).

  • He doesn’t like zombies and doesn’t get this new zombie craze. Well, I just feel like that is a blatant lie.  He wrote sooo many books with zombies in them! “Zombies are boring as characters,” he says. “You can’t disguise them as humans. There’s really not much that can be done with them.” Should we discuss the amazing novel The Perfect Date which included three zombies who were disguised as humans? What about InToo Deep where a male child zombie disguised himself as a hot teen and seduced a male camp counselor?
  •  He thinks “vampires are sexy”.  Good to know.
  • Best quote? “All I’ve ever wanted was to be funny”. I hope he knows how much laughter and joy he has brought to my life over the years.
  • He’s afraid of water! Interesting! I would say that many more characters have died from fire, ghost attacks, being slashed with a skate than have drowned. Perhaps he doesn’t like to confront his fear too much? (A notable exception is Sarah Fier who drowned when her boat sank in the Atlantic. And then she haunted some cheerleaders for some reason).
  • He said that after Party Games, he’ll probably bring back cheerleaders! L.K. will be so pumped!
  • Mentions how he “never wrote from the heart” and doesn’t understand why authors would. He wants to sell his books! And I’m also guessing that whatever is in his heart is terrifying.
  • He says that it usually takes him 3-4 weeks to write a Fear Street book, and it goes so quickly because he does a lot of planning before (He doesn’t say this but I imagine it’s also because he doesn’t mind gaping plot holes).  But the article references him finishing a novel in 8 days in the late 80s. He mentions in another article that the 8-day book was…The Secret Bedroom! That makes sense. Here is L.K.’s final review of The Secret Bedroom: "This book was cheesy and nonsensical. Skeletal corpses dancing around? Even the cover sucks, with the cheesy glowing door, and cheesy skeletal hand. This book belongs firmly in the ranks of Goosebumps, and I’m sorry to see it put in the category of Fear Street. 2 skeletal corpses out of 7.” Hahahah
That article was full of facts and gems. It really did heighten my anticipation for the Party Games release!

He also went ahead and made a list of his favorite Fear Street books: http://rlstine.com/rlstine-picks-his-8-favorite-fear-street-books/
  1. New Girl
  2. Silent Night
  3. Switched
  4. Fear Street Saga: The Betrayal
  5. Haunted
  6. The Perfect Date
  7. Cheerleaders: The First Evil
  8. The Secret Bedroom
Most of these are our favourites too. I have always had a soft spot for the original Fear Street Saga, and L.K. distinctly remembers Switched from her youth. In fact, she mentions Switched in both her top five favourite Fear Street list and top five scariest list.  But why is The Secret Bedroom on here? He says he loves it because it “wrote itself”. Maybe it would have benefited from some actual human editing? Just sayin…

I also wanted to mention that I just got a new R.L. book from the library – Temptation. It is a compilation of Goodnight Kiss, Goodnight Kiss 2 and Vampire Club. I won’t be reviewing Goodnight Kiss and Goodnight Kiss 2 since L.K. already reviewed those. Apparently Vampire Club is a short story, and I don’t believe we ever read it, so I will try to get that up on the blog before we get into the Party Games!

Exciting times, Shadyside fans!

Monday, May 5, 2014

Red Rain, or "Zombies are Just So Obvious"


Hello faithful Shadyside Snark fans! Are you in for a treat, because I’ve finally gotten around to reading and recapping R. L. Stine’s more recent adult novel, Red Rain. This recap is really just to whet your appetite as we countdown to the new Fear Streets!

You are going to have to forgive me because it’s been SO LONG since I’ve recapped a book, I’m pretty sure I have no clue how to do it anymore. This ended up being super long, largely because the book was about three times the size of a Fear Street.

I actually read this a while ago and have put off writing the recap because in the meantime I moved overseas. Luckily I took some kick-ass notes, which may or may not make any sense to me now. I hope this knowledge adds to your experience here.

Prologue: We begin in the aftermath of a horrific hurricane, which devastated an island located somewhere off the East Coast of the US (my American geography is fuzzy – let’s say it’s somewhere off the coast of South Carolina. That makes sense, right?) Lea, an adventure traveler, is standing on the beach, in shock and horror at the calamity she is witnessing. The sky opens up, and bright red rain starts to pour down on her, like blood. She basically falls to her knees and starts screaming “oh, the humanity!” Two blond boys, twins, appear in front of her out of the blood rain.

That’s a pretty good beginning. Let’s go back in time a little bit to put this all into place. Lea is sitting down to write a blog post. I’m just going stop right there to say: Blog post! R. L. has totally entered this decade. This makes me even more excited as to what the new Fear Streets will offer.

Anyway, Lea is updating her travel blog. She is an adventurer extraordinaire, venturing where the faint of heart will never travel. At the moment, she is on Cape Le Chat Noir – a mysterious island that few people visit due to rumours that it is overrun with the living dead. Legend has it, since a horrific hurricane in 1935 destroyed most of the population, the dead got up and kept on going right next to the living. So … zombie island. Oh, A. M., I bet you wish you had read this one!

Lea goes on a guided tour to a Revenir ceremony. Even the living dead are into capitalizing on tourism. At this point she brings up Facebook, and that she was creeping on somebody’s page. R. L. is right with the times now! She meets up with Martha Swann, a woman she’s been in touch with who lives on the island. Together they watch the Revenir ceremony, although Martha warns her it’s tough to handle. In the ceremony, six men are brought up to the front and given a “Black Death” concoction to drink. They all vomit and die in front of a naturally horrified Lea. But then the priest comes in and revives them, so everything is good. The newly dead/living men chuckle like “whoa, what a trip.” K, willingly dying goes beyond what I’ll do for a travel experience. Come to think of it, vomiting is also on that list.

At that time, a giant hurricane that has been threatening the coast blows in. Hurricane Ernesto is huge. It reminds people of the horrible hurricane of ’35. Lea goes home with Martha to ride out the storm.

Over to Mark, Lea’s husband, a psychologist, who is near their home on Long Island in a town called Sag Harbor. He is in the midst of a book tour, promoting his very controversial bestseller non-fiction book, “Kids Will Be Kids,” where he apparently discusses how kids should be allowed to be free and do whatever they want. Ooh, foreshadowing here! This theory rubs people the wrong way, and lots of irate parents show up to yell at him, so he’s super stressed out. In the middle of a bookreading, he gets a call from Lea in the hurricane. She screams and is cut off.

The hurricane is horribly destructive. Lea and the Swann’s are all like: are we going to make it? Then the roof collapses.

After the storm, it is a horror show. There are corpses everywhere. Lea, while wandering the streets in a daze, is attacked by a man in distress.

Back to Long Island. Andy, a NY cop who has recently transferred to peaceful Sag Harbor, is there to give Mark the news that his wife is dead. Oh, oops! It was the wrong address. Classic R. L.

Lea is fine, although swiftly developing PTSD. She is pulled over to help a woman who is trapped. They end up ripping her leg off. What? Holy crap. She wanders away from that horror show to the boarding house where she was supposed to be staying that night. The house is destroyed and one of the owners has been impaled. So lucky she stayed with the Swann’s, I guess. That’s when the blood rain starts and she meets the twins, Daniel and Samuel. They say that everything they have is gone. Lea feels a connection to them and immediately adopts them, largely on the grounds that they “are adorable.” She mentions their blond hair and blue eyes a lot. Wtf, how easy is it to adopt children there? Where I come from, taking children with you because they are cute is labeled “kidnapping.”

Daniel and Samuel have a friend named Ikey. They discuss bringing him. Daniel puts forward that Ikey isn’t as pretty as them, so their new “Mum” wouldn’t want to have him around. Samuel really wants to bring him, though, so Daniel goes out and kills Ikey, I guess to avoid the argument. So already we know: mysterious twins appearing out of blood rain are evil. As if you needed a random murder to tell you that. Also, they talk in a weird accent, like part English, and call everyone “boyo.”

Long Island. Andy the cop is in a complicated relations with a chick named Sari. That is all. Oh, and he also breaks up a fight over an ice cream cone. Very important stuff. Actually, the bully who was trying to steal an ice cream cone will show up later.

Alright, now finally Lea and Mark are together. Lea brings home some brand new twins she has adopted overnight. The confused household is there to meet them: Mark, their two kids Ira and Elena, and Mark’s sister Roz who lives in their guest house with her toddler Axl. Everyone goes on and on about how pretty the twins are – even Mark, a grown man. This is all very weird and creepy.

The twins, who are about 10, decide they want to move into the guesthouse, which seems inappropriate, but nobody can say no to them. Roz and Axl are moved into the attic. Next, Daniel and Samuel go shopping for clothes since they have absolutely nothing of their own, where they have a run-in with the class bully and we discover that they are not only evil murderers, they are also shoplifters. *gasp!*

Lea becomes distant and completely obsessed with death rituals. It’s all she does; she basically doesn’t really come into the story for awhile.

In the meantime, while his wife is busy with her PTSD, Mark has taken to fucking his young assistant, Autumn. Ugh, these scenes are so awkward. It’s like a Fear Street book, and then all of a sudden we’re talking about her creamy white ass moving under him. Okay, there’s your requisite sex scene to make this book adult.

Daniel and Samuel have taken a toll of the world around them, and have come to these conclusions: the bully would have to be dealt with, and they need to take Mark out of the picture, because he’s not quite as accepting of them as their new Mum is, no matter how pretty they are.

Mark is denied a grant that he had been hoping would come in. The guy who came out to tell him the bad news ends up dead in his car in Mark’s driveway – with his throat torn out by a blowtorch. Like, his windpipe has been torn out and thrown onto the back seat, while the edges of the gaping hole are charred. Yes, creative Stine death!

The police are suspicious of Mark, because brutal murder is clearly how people respond when they are denied a grant. The medical examiner, Harrison, shows up and is a hilarious dick to everyone.

Now Samuel and Daniel are talking about how they want to “rule the school.” It’s like the next step in their evil plan: Step one: take out adversaries; Step two: rule the school. They say they’ll convince Elena, who is older, and Ira, who is their age, to help them. First, Daniel plays a game with Ira to see who can hold their breath the longest. Daniel nearly drowns Ira, then Samuel, the “quiet” one who seems nicer steps in and uses his laser eyes to hypnotize Ira to do whatever they want. No really, that’s what happens. Samuel has laser eyes that can be used to burn, hypnotize or kill. He thinks about how when they came back from hell, Daniel got all the rage, but Samuel got the superpower.

So, you guessed it already, but pretty early on in the book the twins are outted as being the evil undead with powers. The whole book was really obvious. There wasn’t any subtlety or suspense here. I really felt let down by this, because there could have at least been a little build up.

Ira starts acting weird and moves out into the guesthouse with the twins. They all paint blue arrows on their faces. Then Ira’s friend Ethan moves in and paints an arrow on his face. Then they paint an arrow on toddler Axl’s face and the adults start freaking out.

At school, they get in trouble for the face paint, but Samuel hypnotizes the principal, who then says all the kids have to get blue arrows painted on their cheek. That afternoon, Samuel and Daniel go to the bully’s house …

Andy the cop fucks his ex, Sari, then she tells him she just got married and that was like a goodbye handshake with his penis. I forget what any of this has to do with the plotline now. I actually don’t think it does. You are welcome to forget that bit, if you can.

The cops are called in for a new murder. The bully is found in his house, beheaded and burnt.

That evening, Daniel and Samuel have lots of kids over to the guesthouse, all of them with arrows on their cheeks. They’ve “convinced” a lot of older kids to join their little club, including Elena, the teenager, which is worrying a lot of the adults. Despite all their worry, Mark and Lea go out that night, trying to reconnect after his affair she doesn’t know about and her blatant obsession with death. When they return, the guest house is empty and all the kids are gone. Like 80 kids disappeared that night. Pretty creepy.

Early the next morning, Daniel and Samuel are back and they decide to go find Autumn of the creamy ass, Mark’s assistant he’s been having on the side. They kill her in order to set up Mark. They’re all very polite about the whole thing. Autumn fights back and stabs Samuel with a heel (btw, I always think about using my stilettos as weapons when it comes right down to it.). Unfortunately, because he’s the evil undead, a heel stab wound doesn’t really slow him down. She’s a goner. The cops go to arrest Mark, so he behaves perfectly rationally, jumps out a window and runs into the woods.

Martha Swann, from the island where this all began, contacts Lea. She’s discovered some stuff about Daniel and Samuel, like a photo of them after the 1935 hurricane. They haven’t aged because they are zombies, as we already know. They survive by stealing and have a deep desire to control children. Lea’s all: wtf. Then Martha very portentiously tells Lea that there’s more …

Meanwhile, there’s a string of burglaries in Sag Harbor, committed by children. The missing kids all go to the middle school, where a “new order” has been started. No adults are allowed in, except for the kitchen staff to make them snacks. The kids are all going crazy, behaving like the wild animals that they are. Guess kids shouldn’t really be kids, now, should they Mark? Daniel can somehow control their mood through the blue painted arrow.

The principal manages to get in, and Samuel sets her on fire. There is a stand off between the kids inside and the cops of Sag Harbor outside. Daniel and Samuel come out and set fire to everything while chanting “Rule the School!” One cop goes in to be a hero and stops Samuel from killing Elena and Ira, and is almost killed himself.

Then Mark jumps in and knocks the twins out, ending their power over the kids – because stab wounds are nothing, but a knock over the head will take out a zombie anytime. All the kids run out and the twins disappear.

Mark finds Lea wandering around the school. She tells him that she’s dead, she died in the hurricane, and the Swann’s got the Revenir priest guy to bring her back. The twins then sneak up on them and try to kill Mark. Lea grabs them and they all catch fire, burning to ash.

R. L. always likes a neat wrap-up when it comes to his zombies – they usually disappear in a whirlwind or a blaze of fire. But wait … Axl, the little toddler, has been taught Samuel’s gift …

As terrifying as the thought of a toddler with killer laser eyes are, on a whole this book wasn’t so much scary as it was CRAZY. Things that were sort of scary: The blood rain with the twins appearing out of it. This started off with SO MUCH POTENTIAL. Also, having the kids disappear. I think it would have been way creepier if they had just … gone. Not ransacked the school to eat a lot of snacks in the cafeteria and boss grown ups around. And the zombies. I read somewhere that R. L. was over zombies? What does this mean for the new Fear Streets? A. M. will be so disappointed!

Alas, the book lacked nuance. But it’s been awhile since I’ve read anything new by R. L., so it was still fun and exciting. Am even more excited for the New Fear Streets, coming out this October!

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

L.K. Stine's favourite Fear Streets


L.K. Stine's favourite Fear Street books

I had so much fun recapping the Fear Street books. Every one of them had it's own brand of wtf charm, but I'm not going to lie that a few of them stole my heart. I really struggled to get this list down to only five, but these are my five absolute favourite books in Fear Street history. I know that A.M. Stine is also working on her list of faves as well (I bet they are all zombie-related).


Funniest

By “funniest” I mean the ones that made me laugh the most, not necessarily because the book was funny but because the post was. You might think I’m crazy. It’s a very subjective heading. There is also a big element of laughing at your own jokes, but if you made the jokes five years ago is it still lame? Probably. Anyway, these are the ones that I caught myself sniggering at:


Scariest

Yes, I'll admit that occasionally, a Fear Street would send a chill up even our spines. These are the books that we admitted to feeling the slightest, tiniest bit like we might want to hide the book in the freezer for awhile.

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Awkward Kisses, Terrifying Garburators and Bad Teenage Poetry: What Makes Fear Street So Awesome?


Happy Halloween, Fear Street lovers. And could there possibly better news, EVER, then the fact that the fear master himself, R. L. Stine, is set to revive the Fear Street series with new books! Holy crap, I am over the moon about it. According to his Twitter, which I now follow with absolute delight, he is halfway through the first book, Party Games. Things couldn't be better. Of course A.M. and I will be following these new developments.

So, in honour of the awesome news, and of course for Halloween, I put together some of the things that make Fear Street so very special in our hearts. I am so eager to see how much of this ends up in the new series.

Some of the best things that make Fear Street books so awesome are the little details. For A.M. and I, that means the awkward description of kisses between chaste teenagers, or the mind-bogglingly gross-out ways that R.L. has thought up to off his characters. I also started to make a list of all the books we've deemed have abusive relationships within them, but it was basically every one of them, so I just stopped. Also, it seemed a little wrong to highlight that aspect of the Fear Streets too much. Just know that we here at Shadyside Snark frown on abusive relationships and you should never date someone who dumps a bucket of leeches on you. In case you needed that bit of life advice.


Best description of awkward kisses

Make no mistake about it - one of my favourite things about Fear Street is the really awkward way kisses are described. They rarely sound enjoyable at all. Just one more part of the teenage horror experience?


Letter openers

The letter opener, bar none, is the best murder weapon ever, and much more common than you would think. It does make me wonder, though - who are all these people with letter openers? If people could see the stats on how many of these lead to terrible deaths, maybe they'd just stick to opening letters with their fingers, paper cuts be damned.


Best poetry attempts

And by best I mean worst.


Most gruesome/memorable deaths

I started to compile the deaths that gave me the creeps, but I eventually had to stop. R.L. is super creative when it comes to death. Here is just a sampling of some of the gruesome ways you could possibly go. A surprising amount of these were found in the Evil Cheerleaders series - that Sarah Fear was a complete ghoul!

Bobbi Corcoran scalded to death – Cheerleaders: First Evil
Impaled by camera, stunt double – The Third Horror
Face torn off in tobogganing accident – The Perfect Date
Death by pottery wheel – Lights Out
Death by printing press – Final Grade
Buried alive – The Burning
Skinned as a cat, rat stuffed down the throat – Evil Moon
Piano wire across ski hill – The Face
Death by water cooler – Cheerleaders: The New Evil
Head ground in mill; head boiled in a vat of potatoes – The Awakening Evil

Special mention

These are some of the scenes that just stick in your head - we remembered them vividly even after years since reading Fear Street for the first time.

Garberator scene – 99 Fear Street: The First Horror
Killer vomit – The Third Horror
Needle in lipstick – Silent Night
Triple threat chase scene – Sunburn
The time-traveling car – Cataluna series, Evil Moon

Monday, September 16, 2013

For All Fear Street Lovers

I know it's been awhile, Fear Street fans. Approximately three years or so? While A.M. Stine and I finished blogging all the Fear Street books, we never stopped thinking about Fear Street books. Obviously. So three years later, I finally got around to doing what I meant to do as soon as we were done with the blog - get a little organized. With lists and things.

First thing, you'll see that I have created a new page with all the Fear Street books we've blogged, in order (the Fear Street Books, an index). So if you're the type who likes to read things in order (clearly A.M. and I do not fall under that category), you can peruse over there.

Also, just for fun, I've put together some lists of different themes of books. R. L. does like to fall back on some stereotypical horror themes, which is okay. It only makes me love him more. Here are some of the major themes. Stay tuned for some more personalized favourite lists coming soon.

Vampires

Vampires were so hot about three years ago. These were my faves to blog about and I tried to do as many as possible. If vampires are your thing, and why wouldn't they be, enjoy R.L.'s interpretation of Twilight. Just click on the link to head there.

Goodnight Kiss


Zombies

Zombies were 100% A.M.'s thing. If I ever accidentally ended up with a Fear Street about zombies, she would basically be despondent (and it was really hard to tell, because if you look back over these recaps, you'll see the zombie twist would almost always happen at the very end and you never see it coming!) These without a doubt are some of the books with the biggest wtf factor, so suspend disbelief and any sense of logic, and enjoy.

New Year’s Party (Part One) (Part Two)

Evil twins

Such a horror classic, and a great way to get a plot moving along. Evil twins (or evil siblings pretending to be twins) often pop up in the Fear Street books, to the point that I started to keep an eye on A.M.