Thursday, May 27, 2010
Sweetheart, Evil Heart or "Cheating Kills. In Increasingly Random Ways."
Oooo do I love Valentine’s Day horrors! I think it’s the combination of love, teenaged lust and murder. Guaranteed to be sexy times, right? Oh wait, we’re reading an R.L. Stine book. Never mind. There will be zero sexiness involved. Well, lets hope someone dies at least.
This book centers around Ty Sullivan and his lovely THREE girlfriends. Yes, three. Why? Who knows. He’s certainly not getting any action. All he seems to do is take them out on expensive dates, then chastely kiss them at the end of the night. Sooo kinda pointless, right? And of course they all go to the same school. No one will EVER find out about this, right? Ty has one “official” girlfriend – Phoebe Yamura. She’s pretty and the captain of the cheerleading squad. He’s secretly dating Trisha Conrad as well (you remember her? A true Fear? Has fantastic visions? Richest girl in town?) and she also has a boyfriend, Gary Fresno, who is a total douchebag. Ty is also dating Marla Newman who is the resident brainy girl. Poor Marla.
Ty starts the story off by bragging to his best friend Mickey about all the sweet non-action he’s getting from his 3 girlfriends. Marla and Trisha are both dating him because he told them he’s about to break up with Phoebe. Um, why don’t they just have some self-respect, and wait until he actually does it? Oh, right, 16 year old girls. That explains EVERYTHING. Mickey warns Ty to be careful because both Phoebe and Gary have some wicked, jealous tempers. Ty laughs that off, because he has absolutely no foresight.
Marla comes over that day to “study” so Ty takes her to his romantic attic. They chastely kiss for a few minutes and then Ty finds something in the old desk up there. It’s a Valentine’s Day card addressed to him, but it looks super old. It reads:
I’VE BEEN WAITING SO LONG FOR YOU. I ACHE FOR YOUR KISS. WRITE ME, OR I WILL DIE. BRING YOUR LETTER TO THE SHADYSIDE CEMETERY, AND LEAVE IT UNDER THE OLD ELM TREE NEAR THE FEAR FAMILY TOMBSTONES.
LOVE, AMY” (I have no idea why all their letters are written in CAPS. It just makes it seem like they're yelling at each other)
Well that’s certainly believable. Right after they find the Valentine, Marla realizes she’s late and has to go. What, their “date” was 15 minutes? Phoebe shows up right after Marla leaves for HER date as well. So Ty scheduled these dates approx. 20 minutes apart? How on EARTH does he think he’ll never get caught? He also decides that he will write Amy back, because he “can’t let her die, can he?” Ugh, he’s such a smug little asshole.
Ty is out with Trisha later in the week, and she’s making him awkward because she is hinting about the Valentine’s Day dance and Ty hasn’t decided who to take yet. Doesn’t it seem obvious that if he doesn’t take his official girlfriend, the whole jig will be up? That becomes the least of Ty’s problems though, because Gary has followed the two lovebirds in his car, and caught up to them. He flies into an insanely jealous rage but manages to convince Trisha to leave with him. Healthy teenaged relationship there.
When Ty gets home from his disasterous date with Trisha, there’s a new letter from Amy waiting for him! So exciting!
I KNEW YOU WOULD COME. I KNEW YOU WERE MY SOULMATE. NOTHING CAN SEPARATE US NOW. NOT EVEN A HUNDRED YEARS. PLEASE BRING ME ANOTHER NOTE.
Ty decides to look up the return address, and speeds over to investigate. For ONCE in this series, the address isn’t on “Fear Street”. But the lot is empty (of course). Ty decides to ask for a picture in his latest letter. He can’t believe this is happening to him! Soooo. He’s believing this. He believes he is SO irresistible to women, they contact him from beyond the grave.
Mickey and Ty are goofing off in school the next day, and Mickey spills the beans to their friend Kenny about Ty’s 3 girlfriends. Ty’s pretty upset at Mickey, and chooses to take it out on Justin Thompson, the “geek” that has the locker next to him. Seems appropriate. I don’t think we’ve met Justin yet, although he does have his picture in the yearbook!
Ty gets home that day with Phoebe and he’s gotten another Valentine. Phoebe is kinda weirded out that Ty has been communicating with this person, because it is CLEARLY a joke.
YOUR NOTES KEEP ME ALIVE, EVEN THOUGH WE ARE SEPERATED BY SO MUCH TIME. I SHALL ALWAYS BE TRUE TO YOU, MY DEAREST. ARE YOU BEING TRUE TO ME? I AM ASHAMED TO CONFESS THAT I HAVE A TERRIBLE, JEALOUS TEMPER!
Really subtle there, “Amy”.
This Seniors book is a little bit different as well, because sometimes the point of view changes to Trisha’s. Gary and Trisha are fighting in the car about Ty, and Gary does the super macho thing of driving irradically until Trisha is scared enough to say she’ll never see Ty again. That’ll keep her!
When she gets home to her gigantic mansion, there’s a note from Amy waiting for her. "STAY AWAY FROM TY. HE’S ALL MINE NOW." This throws Trisha into a tizzy and she has one of her visions. She sees a boy, dying on the ground in front of her. But she can’t tell who it is! She knows Gary is furious at Ty, and thinks it must be one of the two boys that will die. She has to warn them!
But takes a few days to do it. She tells Gary first who freaks out that Trisha mentions Ty’s name. He vows that it will be TY who ends up dead! Real stable there, Gary. Trisha goes out with Ty to the movies later that week to warn him too. He’s really creeped out, and even more so when they get back to his car, and all the tires have been slashed. Oh and also, a bunny was murdered in the back seat and everything is covered with bunny blood. Well, that’s just upsetting. Ty goes to confront Gary later that night, but Gary’s car is broken so it couldn’t have been him. But Gary certainly isn’t happy to hear that Ty and Trisha went out that night. Maybe he’ll have to follow through on his plan to KILL Trisha for going out with Ty.
Ty gets home from his confrontation and there’s a new Valentine waiting for him. This time it’s the picture he asked for! He can’t really see her face, because her enormous bonnet is covering it. But the back has “I WARNED YOU ABOUT MY JEALOUS TEMPER” written on it. Creepy! Ty writes his dead girlfriend a break up letter, and tells her not to contact him anymore because he won’t write back! That will show your crazy, supernatural love!
The next day, Ty and the incredibly geeky Justin (he’s into computers?! GROSS) have another run in near their lockers. By that time mostly everyone is in class so no one is there to see when Ty opens his locker and its full of blood! More bunnies? No, there is no blood source. But there is a new letter for Ty when he gets home!
I CANNOT FORGIVE YOUR CRUELTY. I CANNOT LET YOU LIVE. YOUR GIRLFRIENDS MUST DIE TOO.
She handled that break up well. Ty writes her another note, apologizing for being cruel, and well. It’s basically the worst letter ever:
I’M REALLY, REALLY SORRY. I DIDN’T MEAN TO HURT YOUR FEELINGS. I DON’T HATE YOU OR ANYTHING, BUT IT WILL BE BETTER IF YOU STAY IN YOUR TIME AND I STAY IN MINE. PLEASE FORGIVE ME. ANY PLEASE LEAVE US ALONE.
Really, Ty? “I don’t hate you or anything”? “Good LUCK”?! With what? Getting over him? UGH. Anyways, Ty is certain Amy won’t be bothering him anymore after that GEM. But while he’s relaxing at home with Phoebe, Marla comes pounding into Ty’s house because she was beat up by a girl outside his house! Luckily for Ty, neither girl questions why the other one was there.
The next day, Marla also shows him a note she got: “I MAY BE DEAD – BUT YOU ARE NEXT TO DIE. STAY AWAY FROM HIM”. Ty is freaking out because his flawless plan isn’t working!! Later Phoebe shows him a note that she got. And finally, Trisha shows him a note that she got from Amy as well. And mentions that Phoebe and Marla got them too! “This is really scary Ty! And how come they got messages, too? What’s the connection?” The connections in Trisha’s brain are clearly not working either...
He tries convincing the girls it's all just a joke. But it seems they don’t really see it that way, because when he invites each of the girls to the Valentine’s Day dance – separately – they all turn him down for other obligations. Did they figure it out, or are they too creeped out?
He goes to the dance anyways. Looking for a 4th living girlfriend? While he’s hanging out with his friends though, he sees…Amy! Well he sees a girl in an old fashioned bonnet and clothes. He follows her up to the balcony, but he keeps seeing her in different spots! Like she’s a g-g-g-g-GHOST! While he’s looking over the dance floor, someone starts shoving him, and trying to push him over the railing. It’s Amy! Oh wait, nope, it’s Phoebe in disguise. And the other two girls, also dressed like Amy.
They knew the whole time that Ty was cheating and wanted to play a prank on him. They had no idea he would be SO into himself, he would believe it! Ty runs out of the dance to save himself any more humiliation. In the parking lot though, he sees another girl in a bonnet. But if all the girls are inside…who is this unicorn…?
We cut to Trisha’s POV. She’s feeling pretty guilty about Ty. I guess maybe since she was cheating too, she can empathize more. The girls go out to look for him and find him. DEAD. Just like in Trisha’s vision. So where’s Gary? Trisha has another vision about Ty’s accident. She sees Ty running towards something, then noticing something is following him and running away. Then he gets slammed by a red car. Whew! At least Gary’s car isn’t red!
The next day Gary tries to get back in Trisha’s good graces by apologizing, then offering to take her for a ride in his new. RED. car. Trisha runs screaming away from Gary to the … Fear Street Cemetery. Well, nothing good comes from that! Gary doesn’t follow her the whole way, so Trisha feels like she’s safe.
And then she runs into Justin Thompson, resident geek. He offers to protect her. Cute! Then tells her that he likes. A LOT. And also licks his lips. Ohhhh that’s less cute. Justin confesses that he killed Ty for her. He couldn’t stand that he would cheat on her! (What’s his plan for Gary?) When it becomes clear to Trisha that Justin is crazy, she starts running, hard. When it becomes clear to Justin that Trisha isn’t immediately falling for him, he tackles her and they start to wrestle. Justin is so close to killing Trisha by strangling her, but with her last ounce of strength, she gouges his eyes, then shoves him onto a stone. He busts his head open and dies immediately. Rough week for Trisha.
The book ends with Gary and Trisha working out their problems (verbal abuse and threats long forgotten!) But Trisha walks by the stone that killed Justin and realizes it says:
AMY FEAR 1872-1890.
OoooOOooo! So maybe that was the fourth bonnet girl? Or Justin was cross-dressing? I was disappointed again that a non-central character ended up being the murderer. I wasn’t even going to write him into this recap because his part was so insignificant. Then he ended up being the murderer, and I had to go back to find where Ty and Justin had their run ins. Damn you, R.L. for your lame twist! But I was actually way more concerned that this would be a rip off of Double Date, where (*spoiler!*) it was all some lame prank. So well done R.L. for not ripping yourself off! I give this book 48 murderous girlfriends from beyond the grave out of 65!
K I had to add this picture, I actually scanned the back of the book for all of you. Because it appears to be Marla Newman... dressed as a ZOMBIE for the dance? Man, that would have been a WAY better book