Drop Dead Gorgeous or "You Don't Want to Drink Blood With Me? Ugh, Such a Square!"

I am back with the recap of the third book in this new Fear Street Series, Drop Dead Gorgeous. Full disclosure, I had to return this book to the library immediately after I finished it, and about two weeks before I wrote this recap. Safe to say... my memory has failed me in some parts. Also, when I went to check Goodreads for some background info, the book description was just wrong? They mention a boyfriend named Ben… who does not exist in this book. Is there another Fear Street book out there brewing? One can only dream!

Drop Dead Gorgeous starts out on a high note with a diary entry - always one of my favorite Fear Street tropes. The writer self-describes herself as a dead girl looking for a fresh start. Aren’t we all.

We meet our main characters in the first chapter: Julie (pretty/regular Fear Street girl), Amber (bad hair and smart), Liam (nondescript boy), Zane (quiet and shy), and Delia (small and mousy) and Winks (Delia’s boyfriend). They have met at a comedy club because even though Zane is shy and quiet, he’s suddenly decided to go into stand-up comedy and it’s an open mic night. This sounds like a legit nightmare. They’re sneaking wine (!) and Delia and Winks are arguing, which is apparently their thing. 

While Zane is doing his set, all the boys (including Zane!) get distracted by the most gorgeous girl in the world coming into the club. Winks is essentially drooling which makes Delia upset. (This new girl is described as having (of course) the most beautiful red hair. R.L. loves his redheads and I was pleased one was included!) One of the guys invites her over to their table and Julie thinks about how she doesn’t like this new girl, haha.

New girl might be super hot but she’s also super weird! She makes them oddly guess her name, which turns out to be Morgan Marks. Julie thinks she is flirting with all the boys, but in a weird way.  She won’t tell them anything about herself like where she’s living or where she’s from. Morgan tells them all she doesn’t get jokes - so why was she in a comedy club then? “Fresh blood”.

In an interesting turn, the next chapter is done from another persons perspective - Bernie, a veteran comedian who was on after Zane. He describes the most beautiful redhead coming up to him and then… sinking her teeth into his neck! Vampire book! L.K. Stine will be SO jealous!  

Morgan starts at their high school that week and Delia and Winks are already fighting over her. We find out a little bit more about these characters like that Julie has been into Zane for a while now but hasn’t told him, and that Liam is super into frisbee. Cool. I really wish I had the book to reference right now, because I have a note that says “blood buddies!” and have no idea what that’s about. Oh well!

Anyways, the four boys (Winks included) make a bet to see who can get Morgan to "fall" for them first. Julie’s mom is the principal, and through her we find out that Morgan doesn’t have a school record. Dun dun dunnnn.

Winks sees Morgan walking home and picks her up. Instead of going home, she suggests they get to know each other and they head to the make-out spot of town. Love it. While making out, Winks actually passes out (?) and realizes he needs to get to his job before he gets fired? So strange and he is so relaxed about losing consciousness. When he finally gets there, he’s assaulted by a man named Cal who claims to be Delia’s step-brother, who tells Winks to “stay away from her”! Delia or Morgan? It’s unclear… Either way, bad day for Winks as he gets fired for being late and also making a mess while being beaten. Harsh!

A few days later, Morgan is hanging out with Liam at his house. They’re making pizza when Liam cuts himself. Obviously, Morgan does the rational thing of licking up his blood. When I read that, I suddenly realized I had read this book before! 

Except no, I hadn’t. I was remembering one of my last recaps of The Lost Girl. It also features an unusual new girl who tricks boys about her name (weird), refuses to tell anyone where she lives (weird) and also pricks their fingers and whispers “now we’re bloods” (WEIRDEST).  I felt like I was going a bit nuts for a second, but luckily my recap set me straight. But what’s up with the character repeat? So strange.

So we also find out via Julie and her principal mom that Morgan Marks apparently died five years ago. When Julie confronts Morgan about it, she laughs it off because she is very clearly not dead. But we also find out that Morgan is from... Shadyside! That would have been a cool reveal if I hadn’t assumed that this book was taking place in Shadyside, whoops! I think we also find out that her real name is actually Morgan FEAR at this point but I forget when that comes up. There is another girl named Morgan Marks from Shadyside. Surprise ruined, maybe!

Morgan hooks up with Winks again, and makes out with him until his lips bleed. Like a true R.L. character, he likes it. Cal shows up again and threatens Winks so Winks goes to Delia’s house. Delia is weirded out, both by Winks swollen and bleeding lips (wtf) and by the story Winks tells her about Cal. Because she doesn’t have a step-brother! Which feels like something her boyfriend should know about her. Damn, Winks is a bad boyfriend.

But a good cousin! Winks goes to babysit his little cousin Spencer, as he does every Thursday night. Morgan shows up even after her told her not to, but he forgets all about that because she is there to hardcore make out. Bring on some bleeding lips??

Unfortunately for Winks, while they are making out, Morgan suddenly becomes very old and decrepit. She attacks and bites him all over and he attempts to run out of the house and escape to his car (I guess f*ck his little cousin Spencer, amirite?).

Delia is hanging out with Julie and is getting worried about Winks. He always calls her once Spencer is in bed, and tonight he’s not picking up his phone. The girls decide to go over to Spencer’s house to check. When they get there, they see that Spencer’s parents have come home and are freaking out because the door was wide open and Winks is gone. Spencer is thankfully alive.

Delia goes outside to call Winks again when she trips over his body. Dun dun dun! The police are called and a police officer says that the crime scene is already polluted so it doesn’t matter if more people come to the house. If that isn’t some classic Fear Street detective work…  The coroner also casually tells the girls that there were two sets of bite marks. Hmmm, two vampires??

Morgan arrives at the scene of the crime and is ultra dramatic - like falling to her knees and crying/screaming. Listen, I don't want to tell anyone how to grieve but that's a bit much for someone who just met Winks (oh and murdered him). We cut to Cal who is creepily watching them all.

The next chapter is a Morgan FEAR chapter! Amazing! She is apparently a super goth and BFF with the other Morgan in town, Morgan Marks. The two Morgan's spend a lot of time at the Shadyside Mall because what else are two goth girls going to do? They unfortunately get bullied and egged one day by a bunch of boys, so Morgan Fear does some fancy family magic to make the boys all itchy. Some pretty wholesome magic for a Fear, I gotta say.

Original Morgan Marks (OGMM) has a terrible boyfriend and Morgan Fear is out to prove it to OGMM. Turns out it's not so hard. See, OGMM's boyfriend is a tattoo artist and he invited her to his studio to get a tattoo for her birthday. Except when they arrive, he's making out with another girl. Dude wants to be caught at this point! The girls don't say anything and leave to plot their revenge. Like all Fears, Morgan Fear has some ideas. 

And oh boy, is Morgan Fear's revenge plot super weird. The girls go back the next day and are all "oh OGMM wants her tattoo and Morgan Fear also wants a tattoo. We're going to choose them for each other!". So Morgan Fear goes first and gets her tattoo and then when it's time to tattoo OGMM, Morgan Fear does a spell that knocks out the boyfriend. My notes finally tell me his name is Lanny. The girls revenge is they are going to tattoo Lanny while he's unconscious! Couldn't they have...just knocked him out when they came in? So strange. I guess Morgan Fear got a free tattoo.

Anyways, Morgan Fear goes to tattoo Lanny and somehow screws up so royally that he starts to bleed profusely. And her solution is to... lick up the blood? Uh. 

OGMM is also as disturbed as me, but Morgan Fear keeps going and actually just starts drinking all his blood until he's drained dry. (A human stomach couldn't hold that much blood, right? Ugh, revolting). The girls leave and OGMM yells at Morgan Fear for killing her boyfriend and also being a horrifying vampire. Morgan Fear tells her "you're just paralyzed to try anything new" which seriously made me howl with laughter. "You don't want to drink blood with me? Ugh, such a square!"

Okay so the next part makes the least sense. The girls get into a horrible car accident and they both die. But somehow Morgan Fear is thinking "I'm dead! I know how to cheat death!" Then reaches into her purse (?), takes out a syringe of something (??), and takes it and all her bones un-break and she becomes alive again (???). But it makes her a blood thirsty creature? Or was she already because she just killed Lanny. In no world did it make sense! Anyways, she flees the scene, OGMM dies and Morgan Fear takes her identity.

Back to now. The group is talking about poor Winks and how he was drained of all his blood. Meanwhile, a lovely lunch lady (who happens to be Liam's mom) gets into a small disagreement with Morgan. Later that night Morgan kills and drinks her blood as revenge. K.

Liam can't find his mom so he and Zach go to the school to look for her. They find her (dead) as well as (an alive) Cal lurking around the cafeteria! They knock him out and call the police. When he comes to, he shows them all his card that says "Professional Vampire Hunter". Hahaha! I'm so into that. Why don't more homicidal maniacs try that plan?

There's a weird diary sequence where the vampire goes to Liam's mom's funeral and eats the funeral director.

During this time, the teens have been working to plan the 25th high school reunion for the class of 1995. It's actually a great idea by R.L. because it means that he gets to pepper the teens discussions with 90s trivia, truly where he lives. Although somethings are off, like the dance has a poster of Rugrats? Odd.

Anyways, Liam and the girls are working on the invitations for the reunion and he starts to tell them about how Morgan one time licked up his blood and maybe they should consider her being a vampire? Morgan, of course overhears and goes so hard into denying it, she makes a joke about Liam's dead mom. WTF Morgan. They also find out that the funeral director was murdered and just keep on working. I guess they weren't really close to him, but it still seemed a bit callous. So much murder!

This book is too long. This recap is too long. I'm gonna speed it up to get to the weird ending! This are the notes I took until the ending:

• Zane and Julie kiss (aww)

• Cal is at door

• Morgan and Zane talk - she invites him over

• Morgan tried to feed off Zane but Delia interrupts

• Cal tells the group that Morgan is the vampire (but is she a vampire…?)

It seems like the next day is the reunion dance party, which I know is insane because they were just making the invitations. Listen, if you want a story to make sense chronologically, you're gonna need to take your business elsewhere. Anyways, the dance is getting going and then…

Morgan arrives and brings zombies?! There's a big fight between a bunch of zombies and these poor people who just wanted to dance to "Waterfalls" with their high school friends. It's so weird because it comes out of the blue! Why does Morgan bring zombies to kill everyone?? What's the point?

Morgan and Delia have a tussle and Morgan bites her...but doesn't like how Delia tastes. Hmm. Delia cuts off Morgans head and kills her. The best is the description of the zombies after that as they "murmur and look around". Do they just shuffle out awkwardly?? WHAT IS HAPPENING.

Anyways, the rest of the gang survives and we (the reader) find out that Delia is also a vampire and was the one that killed the funeral director as well as Winks after Morgan started to eat him. She caught him in the driveway and finished him off.

The end.

Just… What?

I know I'm probably more confused than I should be because I can't go back and check the book and my notes are extremely poor. But there was some truly insane stuff.

1. Was Morgan a vampire?? She took some special Fear serum so she wouldn't die (or maybe came back from the dead? It's very unclear to me). I think she would maybe decay without blood… but why did she drink that guys blood before she died?! Just a Fear thing?

2. What's up with that zombie attack? It totally blew Morgan's cover. Why wouldn't she just continue slowly eating her friends and their families then move to a new town? It's like she doesn't even want to be a successful vampire.

3. I saw the twist of Delia being a vampire but her killing Winks makes ZERO sense. She was with Julie the whole time and then they found his body together. I think that was maybe just poor editing.

4. I'm sure I have another million questions but I just can't with this book anymore.

I hope you enjoyed this lengthy, meandering recap that has lead to so many questions. I give Drop Dead Gorgeous 12 maybe-vampires out of 18. Honestly, points off for gaping plot holes!