Sunday, June 29, 2008

"Silent Night" or Bitch totally gets what she deserves!


I think Silent Night is one of R.L.’s first SUPER Chillers. It’s supposed to mean that it has EXTRA chills but really means that instead of being 150 pages, its 200 pages. I didn’t really find the thrills that super. However since my sister, L.K. Stine, vividly remembers a scene in this book, and is still creeped out by it, I guess that’s something! I’m going to divide this recap into two parts since the book is a little long and also because the book is conveniently also cut into two parts. For no reason at all. Part one ends and part two begins with no change in time, place, view point. Well done R.L.!

The cover: First of all this scene is misleading. At no point does our terrible heroine, Reva, appear pressed against a … window? Or is she trapped inside a mirror? Well either or, it doesn’t happen. Also, they describe her wardrobe in great deal and she never wears a red sweater. Believe me, I checked the book, she only wears variations of white and cream! Lies! “Happy holidays – you’re dead!” Awesome. Once again, an unbeatable tagline!

So the main character is sociopath Reva. R. L. doesn’t think much of teenage girls since half of them are the pathological liars and cheaters. I wonder if he has daughters, and whether or not they hate him. Anyhoo, the book opens with Reva being a huge bitch while working at the store “Daddy” owns. She goes to reapply her lipstick and all of a sudden her mouth is spurting blood! Someone put a NEEDLE in her lipstick and she’s all slashed up! Blech. This is the scene that haunts L.K. Stine on a daily basis. And soon me.

We cut to two weeks previous. We find out Reva has been a cold, hard shell of a girl ever since her mother passed away a few years ago. In a plane crash. (P.S. That almost never happens, I know, I’ve done some research) She has a loving father who owns Dalby’s Department store and a cute 6 year-old brother named Michael who has “dark blue eyes and creamy white skin”. Whoa Reva, slow down there! At least wait until he’s 14 so you can properly fuck him up for good.

So Reva dumps her boyfriend Hank cruelly and makes him walk home (through the Fear Street Woods!) She goes to pick up her father and runs into the night security man, Mr. Wakely. He was just fired by her world-weary dad because he’s a drunk. And Mr. Dalby needs someone he can trust around Christmas! Um, I think being a drunk is a good reason to fire anyone, at anytime… Anyhoo, her dad gives her a job as a salesperson and a bunch of jobs to give out to friends.

She hires hot guy Mitch, his GF Lissa (so she can break them up) and her fat friend Robb. She decides to play cruel jokes on her “friends” by telling them to dress up nice on the first day of work and then when they get there, they have to work in the warehouse! OH NOES! K I get that Reva did a bitchy thing, but they all make it sound TERRIBLE. Like it’s the worst thing that could ever happen to them. Even Reva, she’s SO pleased with her ‘jokes’. She does lie to her cousin Pam and tells her there are no jobs for her, because Pam is POOR and probably DIRTY because that’s just how poor people roll. That’s pretty low Reva.

Pam is rightfully pissed and tells her friends Psycho Clay and Mickey Wakely (guess whose son!) about awful Reva. They agree she’s a biatch and then they get into a high speed chase with the cops. I don’t know…

Back to terribly awesome Reva! She finds out that dumpee Hank got a job in the security section even though she chased him away with attack dogs when he asked her for a job. Seriously. There were attack dogs.

Pam hangs out with Psycho Clay and Mickey. Why? Who knows, I guess we’re supposed to assume she makes poor friend choices because she’s financially POOR. Psycho Clay outlines an idea to rob the Dalby’s store! He has it all worked out: the other night security man will leave the door open and they can take whatever they want, then tied him up so it looks like a “real” robbery. I can think of at least 10 things wrong with that plan, but let’s not going into that right now. So Mickey readily agrees, to get revenge for Mr. Dalby for firing his dad, who is now even more of a raging alcoholic. Pam reluctantly agrees because she hates her bitchy cousin Reva. And because she’s poor. Did I mention that yet? Yeah, she has no cash. Anyways, they stop talking about it when Pam’s BF, Foxy comes over. Foxy? Best character name yet!

We finally get back to Reva’s point of view (whew!) and its two weeks later. She’s inviting Pam over for Christmas. She’s doesn’t want to because Pam’s family is POOR, but thankfully, she uses this opportunity to rub the jobs at Dalby’s in Pam’s face. Reva tells Pam she’s so lucky she doesn’t have to spend the holidays working, and Pam just takes it. Pam is such a doormat. I hate everyone in this book. Except super sexy six-year-old Michael. Also, is Dalby’s the only place in Shadyside to work? Call Blockbusters Pam!

Reva’s awesome little brother Michael brother pesters her to take her to see Santa Claus. Reva apparently has some feelings left because she promises she will and actually means it. Way to go Reva! However, she also plots how to steal Mitch, the storeroom worker, away from his “drippy” GF Lissa. The next day she puts her plan into action! Which consists of forcing herself onto him in the back room and saying things like “I’ve been thinking about you” in a whispery voice. This is totally a huge turn on for Mitch because they make out! And then Lissa walks in!! Huge surprise!!

Well Mitch has real people feelings at least because he feels terrible and runs after her. Which makes Reva think he’s a wimp but still thinks “At least he’ll be my wimp soon!” HAHA no one is redeemable in this book. So Reva goes back to the perfume counter where she “works” and finds a present! Woot woot! It’s a nice bottle of cologne. For the girl that works at the perfume counter? Kinda lame. However, it turns out not to be cologne but BLOOD! She drops it on the ground in horror and gets splashed in a wave of BLOOD! End Chapter.

Chapter 12. It really was blood! No fake out here! I guess this is why this is a Super Chiller! Reva goes upstairs to… show her dad? She thinks it’s dumpee Hank and when she passes him (still covered in blood) she threatens his job for giving her some quality white cells. I think that would be enough to scare me into quitting on my own! Anyways, she can’t get in to see her dad and when she goes to leave his office and (FINALLY) change, she hears machine gun shots and drops to the ground!! End Chapter.

Chapter 13. Fake out! It was the Christmas tree lights shorting out. However, Reva’s dad comes out, sees her covered in blood and promptly faints. I think this is the first time I’ve seen a FS character react normally to the horrifying incidents they regularly go through. Well done R.L.!

Part One ends with Reva being super freaked out, kinda rightfully. She already had her lip all tore up and got sent blood. Blech. “What’s next?” she wondered. What’s next indeed. Tune in next time!

A.M. Stine

5 comments:

inside-my-skin said...

Nice! I think she gets what she deserves... the needle in the lipstick is creepy, but wouldn't you notice it stabbing you in the face before you kept putting more on?

also, how do I find the Sweet Valley blog? Is there even a way to search blogger?

inside-my-skin said...

Also that was me, Tawnie.

Anonymous said...

i thought she was in a snowglobe on the cover...

kritin220 said...

I must have read this book... 13 years ago? And I still remember that freaking needle. R. L. Stein pretty much put me off of lipstick for the rest of my life.

RecallerReminder said...

Hehehe. I think Reva s jokes are pretty funny, even if she is a total bitch.