Silent Night 3 or "Mannequin Murders!"

After spending an extra two days stuck in Vancouver (Home to the 2010 Olympics!) due to the incredible fuck-headed-ness of Air Canada, I actually got a fair bit of reading done. And not just Fear Street! But you don’t care about that. You came here to read one last bit of Christmas magic: Silent Night 3!

The cover is pretty frightening, mostly because mannequins are terrifying. Especially these mannequins. Reva is looking as hot as ever with her oversized navyish/purplish turtleneck. I wanna ask her though: what’s with all the turtlenecks? There are other types of sweaters. “’Tis the season … to die.” As with L.K. and her cheerleader Christmas book (random) I’m under whelmed by the tagline. I feel that there were so many Christmas themed puns that could have been used, this is kind of a waste. No worries though, the book is pure Awesome.

Reva is back from college and she brought her roommate Grace home for the holidays. Which seems … uncharacteristically nice of her. Has she turned over a new leaf?! As soon as they get in the door, they’re accosted by Michael, Reva’s little brother who is now obsessed with violence. Reva thinks it’s because of all the kidnapping and murder attempts on her life, while I tend to think it’s because he’s a 10 year old boy. Case Solved! Her dad asks her if she would mind working at the store for the holidays, which seems a little thoughtless seeing as she keeps almost getting killed there. O and if you’re wondering whether or not Reva had turned over a new leaf? Yeah, she totally didn’t. She asks her elderly maid if she’d ever heard of conditioner. Bitch!

Reva goes to check on roommate Grace. Grace tells her that her abusive ex-boyfriend found out where she was and is coming for her! Reva thinks back to why she invited Grace to come home for the holidays in the first place: Because Grace was being stalked by her abusive ex-boyfriend and needed a place to hide. Yeah, that’s the guest you want for Christmas. Reva immediately starts thinking of ways to force Grace out of her house because she doesn’t want the drama. Ha! I kinda see where Reva is coming from.

Pam is also in this book! Pam is even more bitter at Reva in this book since she can’t afford college and Reva is always rubbing it in her face. Pam. WHY do you even talk to this girl!? You are so much better than that. Anyways, Pam and her badass coworker Willow started making Christmas scarves in their spare time, and now they want Reva’s dad to sell them in his department store. Reva invites them to come over to show the scarves to her, but leaves the house before they show up. Because she’s a bitch.

Well she kinda gets punished as she has a super creepy nightmare about mannequins in Dalby’s Department Store. There’s a lot of running into mannequins and not being able to find a way out. I hate those kind of dreams! In my nightmares, I can never run fast. It’s always in slow motion. So stressful! Ahem. Moving on…

Reva is woken up by Grace on the phone with Rory. She’s totally freaked out because he said he was going to come and get her. Reva sighs, rolls her eyes and explains that they have extra security, since, you know, people keep trying to kill her. Just then, there’s a knock at the door! It’s Rory! Just kidding, it’s the security guard and Daniel, a boy from college that Reva dated a few times. He drove all night to surprise her! Reva has a surprise of her own. She claims to have never seen him before so the security guard hauls him off to jail. Merry Christmas Daniel!

Pam finally meets with Reva about the scarves. Reva surprisingly loves them and promptly shows them to her father. And tells her father that she made them. And names the brand Reva Wear. And tells Pam and Willow they’ll get “a nice percentage of the profit”. Seriously? How could Pam and Willow agree to this?! Reva tells them that her dad wouldn’t have looked at the scarves if they weren’t designed by her. Which is untrue since Mr. Dalby is a businessman and not Scrooge McDuck.

Mr. Dalby decides to showcase his “daughters” fashion scarves by having some runway shows. Reva is put in charge of pulling it off. She has to use one of the store models, Traci, who she hates. Reva also chooses Liza (who hates Traci) and Ellie because she looks exactly like her. Grace asks Reva if she could be a model, and Reva takes the opportunity to laugh in her face and crush her dreams, hoping that would be enough to send Grace home. It’s not. Reva also meets Liza’s hunky boyfriend Grant and is immediately interested. Surprise. Daniel is also at Dalby’s, having found a job there for over the holidays. He takes his opportunity with Reva to tell her that he wants to kill her. Always a good plan on your first day of work: threaten the boss’ daughter. I’m actually surprised that Reva didn’t get him fired.

While the models and Reva are practicing for the show, Reva basically locks Pam and Willow in a storage room to continue making massive amounts of scarves. So Dalby’s is branching off into sweatshops? Grace busts into the practice area and collapses, with blood all over herself. Rory found her! she cried. And beat her up pretty extensively. Grace refuses to go to the police however, because she thinks Rory will leave her alone now. (Hint: Probably not)

That night, Reva leaves her battered and traumatized friend at home to go have a date with Grant, Liza’s boyfriend. God! Don’t these people have any moral compasses? He tells her all about the bad blood between Traci and Liza since Traci and Grant used to go out. So Traci and Liza hate each other over Grant… I wonder how they’re going to feel about Grant cheating on Liza with Reva? I bet they’ll handle it maturely.

The next morning Reva goes in early to prepare for the runway show. The runway is lined with mannequins who will also be sporting the Reva Wear scarves. One of the mannequins is a little crooked though. Reva goes over to inspect and: Dun Dun Dunnnn! It’s actually Traci, with a pole jammed up her rear! Needless to say, she’s dead.

The police come and interview everyone that was in the store that early, including Liza and Ellie. Reva thinks about what Grant told her the night before about Traci and Liza being arch nemesises. Reva’s all: Could Liza have killed her? And then doesn’t bother to tell the police. Because the way she sees it, if Liza’s involved, it’s their job to figure that out anyways! Yeah.

When she gets home to recover, her little brother Michael attacks her with a knife. Luckily it’s a toy, retractable knife. However, since this is the second time she’s been attacked by retractable blades, she should ask herself WHY so many people seem to want to stab her. Even in jest.

She goes out with Grant again that night, but he’s getting that guilty feeling Reva never has about cheating on Liza. She rolls her eyes in her head and tells him that she needs him way more that Liza does! That does the trick, and they get back to hot kisses.

Reva then gets a threatening phone call, telling her she deserves what happened to Traci. She’s confused so the caller elaborates: She deserves to be murdered! (well, DUH, Reva). She uses her super high tech phone to trace the phone number and call it in to the police. In a little while they call her to say they picked up the perp and want her to come see if she knows him. And it’s … Daniel! Second time he’s threatened her in this book, that’s pretty impressive. Also the second time he's been thrown in jail!

While Reva is walking to her car in the Police Station lot, she hears someone running behind her. She looks back before she breaks into a run and sees … Grace? Grace says that Rory found her and threatened to kill the both of them. They run in a panic to her car … instead of the police station. Great plan, girls! Grace’s story is also absurd. She says that she says Rory OUTSIDE the fence, security guards and dogs, so she ran outside, past all of the security measure, past Rory and didn’t stop running until she saw Reva. WHAT? Grace is nutters.

When they get home, Mr. Dalby is like: I have some very bad news, Reva. Then proceeds to ream her out for claiming the scarves were hers and taking money and fame from her poor cousin Pam. Which, yes, Reva deserves, but that’s not actually bad NEWS Mr. Dalby; that’s having an inconsiderate daughter. And I’m sure it’s not news to him that Reva is an uber-bitch. Reva says it was a big misunderstanding, that she meant to tell him, but forgot because of finding Traci’s dead body. Way to use Traci’s tragedy as an excuse Reva.

The fashion show was re-scheduled for the day after Traci’s murder, with another model in her place. (I know right? Dalby’s are heartless. Also, wouldn’t Traci’s murder be BIG news? Did people come just because they heard about the Mannequin Murder as it would probably by called in the newspaper?) The show starts, and Reva introduces Liza as their first model. But Liza doesn’t come out. Since she’s already on the runway… as a Murder Mannequin!! How did no one notice that until that exact second?

Later that day, when Reva is released from questioning by the police, runs into Grant and demands he comfort her. Grant is all: My real girlfriend who I (kinda) truly love just died, so back the fuck off. In not so many words. Disgusted with Grant’s emotions, she makes her way home to rest. She goes to call her Dad when she hears Grace’s voice on the line. Grace is pleading for Rory to stay away, and to leave her alone. The voice on the other line? Is repeating the time and the date. Chills!

Reva uses her other line to call Grace’s mom. Grace’s mom lets her in on Grace’s big secret. Grace accidentally killed Rory in a car accident two years ago and had a psychotic break. They thought she was better, but apparently not. Grace’s mom is all Call the police, she’s totally dangerous! Of course Grace overheard everything and now decides to kill Reva. Like she killed Traci and Liza! Grace gets a scarf around Reva’s neck and proceeds to choke her. Luckily, Reva’s little brother was drawn to Reva’s room by the sound of violence and proceeds to join in. The distraction is all Reva needs to bring Grace down by smacking her head against the desk.

Grace admits that she killed Traci and Liza to get to Reva. Reva wonders WHY, since she couldn’t stand either of them. Because they were involved in Reva’s fashion show, the only thing she cared about (which is insanely sad, if you think about it). I bet Traci and Liza’s family will be glad to know their daughters died to teach Reva Dalby a lesson. Reva’s security guard finally comes and takes Grace away. Reva is relived everything is all over, and now her fashion show can go ahead! Excuse me!? They decided to have it that night. Isn’t it the same day that Liza was murdered!?

Pam gets to the store early to help Reva set up for the fashion show. She finds Reva lying on the floor of store, with some guy chocking her with a scarf! She throws herself onto the guy and they fall to the floor. Pam thinks that the man killed Reva until she gets a good look and sees that it’s actually the last model, Ellie who looks exactly like Reva. Shitty luck. Reva walks in while the man is screaming “nooo, I killed the wrong oneeeee!” and recognizes him as … Grant! He felt so guilty that Liza died while he was out cheating on her and blamed it on Reva. While Reva isn’t blameless in this situation… Grant’s kind of a cheating douche. Deal with your guilt without murdering anyone else, Grant!

Pam, Grant and Reva all get into a big fight on the storeroom floor, until the girls overpower him. And then FINALLY the security guards arrive. They’re kinda shitty aren’t they? O and also Ellie was fine, just knocked out. But she’s not really important. The book ends with Reva and Pam exchanging gifts and sipping hot chocolate by the Christmas tree. Although it’s the next day, they’ve both moved on. No surprises there.

I really liked how this book was kind of a double murder plot, where two separate people hated Reva enough to attempt to murder her. And other people made death threats against her. I kinda wish Reva had turned over a new leaf, just to see what that would be like, but then no one would have any motivation to kill her. And that would have just been boring. All in all I give this book 27 Reva Wear Scarves out of 32! Merry Christmas and come back in the New Year!