Return to Fear Street: You May Now Kill the Bride, or "Fear Street Meets Twilight Zone and They Have a Delightful Love Child"

 

Hello Fear Street lovers! Watching the spooky Fear Street trilogy on Netflix has inspired AM and I to recap more Fear Streets, and as it happens, there are three newer books we've never read. Hooray!

Now, obviously our recaps of Fear Street will be finite, because there's only so many of these RL can pump out, but don't fret because we have other content out there. I am in the process of compiling a list of witchy book reviews at my website Cordelia Kelly. I you love books about witches as much as I do (and I love them a lot), then you should check it out at: Book Reviews But Make it Witchy!

Now, back to Fear Street, and the first in the new line of Return to Fear Street: You May Now Kill the Bride. Ooh, a book about weddings? I’m immediately curious – how old are these characters? Fear Streets (the books, not the movies ahem), rarely have any romantic interactions beyond a chaste nacho-flavoured peck on the lips. And now we’re talking marriage? I think the only wedding in a Fear Street until now was a disturbing child bride scenario in Bad Moonlight.

Part One

Ruth-Ann Fear is being strangled from behind by Peter Goodman. Oh, no, wait, this is sexy strangling, so it’s okay. Dear lord. It’s only page 1!

It’s 1923. We know this because Ruth-Ann Fear just got her hair bobbed, and they say “the bee’s knees” a lot. RA always comes in second to her perfect older sister Rebecca, who gets absolutely everything, including cute boy Nelson Swift. But Peter is RA’s boy she caught all on her own. RA actually thinks that he’s kinda dumpy, so he’s perfect for her! Unfortunately, Rebecca doesn’t want RA to date Peter for some reason, which makes RA angry. So she deals with her anger in a secret Fear attic full of secrets. Well, that can’t be good.

RA inherited the Fear family spellbook – and also being evil, apparently. She casts a spell, dancing naked in candlelight while delighting in her ability to control people. Except … her powers didn’t work out all that well because Peter (who she magicked into loving her) decides to go for perfect Rebecca instead. Damn!

One year later, it’s Peter and Rebecca’s wedding. It is happening on a mountaintop in Colorado, where the Fears apparently own property. Nelson Swift, Rebecca’s former boyfriend, shows up to make a scene. RA herself is pretty calm; she feels like she’s over it.

When it’s time to kiss the bride, Peter lifts Rebecca into his arms, kisses her, and with a blank look on his face, throws her off the cliff. Ooh, didn’t see that coming. Was Peter under the control of someone else? Or murdering of his own volition. Which of the suspects is truly evil? Peter, RA or Nelson?

Obviously, the murder results in complete pandemonium. RA’s father blames her. He knows about the attic; she was so obvious with her witchy spells. In fury, RA breaks free, runs, and also plummets over the cliff.

And the evildoer was … Peter! He was actually Peter GOODE, longtime enemies of the Fears, who continues the cycle of hate by murdering the Fear daughters.

Part Two

Cut to modern times, on the same mountaintop in Colorado. We have a bunch of new Fears: Harmony, with her perfect older sister Marissa. Hmm, I’m seeing some connections here.

But Harmony also has a twin, Robby, whose sole characteristic is apparently obsessed with his girlfriend Nikki Parker, who is referred to as shallow and dumb. Harmony is way too boy-crazy to settle on one guy, while Robby is a shy nerd.

Marissa is about to marry Doug, a humourless bull nobody likes. Their obnoxious Uncle Kenny tells obnoxious jokes at the rehearsal dinner, then starts to vomit chicken feathers. It’s probably a bad idea to piss off the Fears; you never know what kind of crap they’re going to do to you. At the rehearsal itself, everyone is attacked by zombie squirrels. You know, normal wedding stuff.

Old Grandpa Bud calls out Harmony – apparently, she’s taken up the mantle of family evil and casts minor spells. He accuses her of wanting to disrupt Marissa’s big day and warns her off.

In a huff, Harmony goes to the bar to pick up guys, but that’s when she sees Aiden, Marissa’s former boyfriend and the REAL love of her life.

Flashback to Aiden stuff: He was the college boyfriend Marissa was never supposed to have. She brings him home for Thanksgiving, despite not breaking things off with her high school guy, Doug. Everyone is confused, except for Harmony, who immediately lusts after him. Marissa warns Harmony off.

But Harmony doesn’t listen. She’s drinking beer with her friends and decides to do a little woodworking, as one does. Somehow Aiden ends up in the basement with her, and she tries to make out with him. He turns her down, but then there is a horrific cabinet-making accident where drunk Harmony runs a drill through his hand. Aiden, who had plans to be a surgeon, was significantly upset.

Back in the present, Harmony tracks Aiden down, speaking to several hotel workers to wiggle out his room number. She demands to know why he’s there. Predictably, since she mangled his hand, he doesn’t want to talk to her.

The following day, the bride can’t be found. Her hotel room is empty, with only a note for Harmony: DON’T LOOK FOR ME.

Part Three

Everyone is frantic, and the wedding is called off. Harmony goes looking for Aiden, only the hotel room he was in the night before is occupied by someone else. Most of the hotel workers she spoke to didn’t actually work there. Hmmm.

She’s confused until she sees a photo of the hotel staff from 1924 – the people she spoke to were in that photo! She’s even more confused now, but I am jazzed – this concept is kinda cool, a twilight zone time warp, I’m into it. Harmony thinks she’s losing it.

Part Four

There is a search to see if they can find Marissa, who has completely disappeared from the face of the earth. They do a helicopter search and find a body … only it is Taylor, Marissa’s best friend. The Fear family is falling apart; Mom is spiralling and drinking until she’s catatonic. Dad stays in Colorado to help with the search while everyone else goes home. Robby accuses Harmony of wanting to destroy Marissa’s wedding and calls her evil.

In a weird subplot, Robby goes to see his girlfriend Nikki, but her Mom says she’s gone camping and not to call her. Robby calls anyways, and Nikki answers, telling him she’s at home. When he’s like – you clearly are not – she hangs up and ghosts him.

Harmony is Facetiming with her Dad, who is sitting in the lobby of the Colorado hotel. Over his shoulder, Marissa appears and looks straight at Harmony. But when Dad turns around, she’s gone. Ooh, cool, Facetiming ghosts just gave me the creeps. Totally loving the vibe of this book; with the hotel, it reminds me of something a bit old-school like The Shining or Tower of Terror (which I realize is a ride, but still). I actually got goosebumps, and I’m loving this.

Harmony immediately heads back to Colorado. In the hotel, she hears her sister in the room next door! She tricks the night manager into letting her in, but there is no one there. But when she sneaks in later, she finds Marissa! She’s having a girl gab with Rebecca and RA. They all confirm that they are indeed dead. 

Right here - this is where the book hit its best part, I think. This is all cool. But things sort of unravel, with loosely wrapped up plot points and a rushed ending. But lots of points for this neato plot. Might I even say it's the bee's knees?

The ghosts explain. There is a curse on the Fears and the Goodes that they can never marry. Because Peter Goode actually married Rebecca, he set the curse in motion. So the Fears are doomed to haunt the hotel for eternity. And Marissa was killed by Aiden, who is out for revenge. He’s been working with Nikki, his actual girlfriend, who he met at the Thanksgiving of terror. I’m confused about how he ended up being in the other time, though?

Harmony needs to make things right. She’s been researching some spells in this and can go back in time, and she stops the original wedding from ever taking place. Rebecca and RA are no longer trapped in the hotel, and Harmony ends up in a staff photo from 1924, then goes back to real-time and saves the day.

I really enjoyed the setup. I was impressed by the nuanced connections between the two times, nearly a century apart, and felt like a really cool world had been established. The end was rushed and confused and ended kinda like a typical Fear Street, which was okay. I wasn’t really sure what to expect from these new Fear Streets and was pleasantly surprised. I give this 7 haunted hotels out of 11.