Listen to: Stars Across the Sky, Bien
Entire concept of this is so cool, and relevant to kids these days! Fiona is a real effing witch, (well, half-witch) sitting in the cafeteria with her friends. Her friends are telling her that witches like her need better representation, but Fiona demurs, saying she’s barely a witch anyways because she’s only half. She hides her tarantula lunch from them because she hates feeling different.
It looks like Fiona’s crush on Emilio might be reciprocated, but then mean girl Madison comes up to break her heart, because Emilio is going to the dance with HER. When one of Fiona’s friends makes a thoughtless comment, her other friend grabs her and asks if she’s dehydrated. Snort. This is going to be my new burn.
Fiona goes to the bathroom to drown her sorrows. And also to munch on her tarantula sandwich, because she loves that thing. We discover in this world that witches are real, it’s a thing, and some people are awful to her about it. While others are overly woke about how accepting they are, and it’s pretty cringy too.
Then miracles happen and Emilio stops Fiona in the hall and asks her to homecoming in the most awkwardly adorable way. Except she’s also having a conversation with a weird cat in her head at the same time, making her seem like a weirdo. This actress is good, she made me laugh. The cat offers to scratch Emilio’s face off and Fiona makes it go poof, then floats a little as she says yes to him.
At home, she takes off the makeup that makes her seem more human. She’s got magical eyes and a big ol’ wart and is still adorable. All she wants is for her parents to be more normal and not act like witches at all. 100% this is exactly like a second-generation kid wishing her immigrant parents could just fit in. Unfortunately for that dream, Fiona finds out that her cousin Luna is going to be staying for some months with her, and this is terrible because Luna is “fresh off the broomstick.” As in, she acts like a total witch.
Luna shows up in a purple tornado and they all cackle, which is also adorable. Fiona clearly loves her cousin but is torn because she knows she won’t help her fit in.
At school the next day, Fiona’s friends are super into Luna and want to know everything about being a witch because Fiona never tells them anything. Meanwhile, mean girls are mean, and Luna calls them trolls. Ha. Luna is English, and she also makes a pointed comment in class about it not mattering about bringing dangerous weapons into school in the States. Ouch. And her teacher is so woke it is painful.
The night of homecoming Fiona dresses very human and refuses to take a broomstick. She’s super happy to be with Emilio, but then he refuses to take a photo with her, and she’s sure he’s embarrassed to be seen with her. And she just takes the disappointment. Then he asks her to slow dance and explains he can’t take photos due to eye sensitivity, and all of a sudden I’m thinking he’s a vampire.
Meanwhile, mean Madison steals Fiona’s wand and conjures up cockroaches everywhere. Everyone, including her friends, thinks that Fiona did it and this is genuinely upsetting to me that they didn’t have her back. Crushed, she leaves all the screaming kids in the gym.
Luna finds her in the hallways and apologizes for pushing her out of her comfort zone, but Fiona says she needs to apologize for being embarrassed about being a witch. She sees that no matter what she does, everyone is going to only see her as a witch. Luna, who is a full witch, speaks about how lonely it must be to be a half-witch, as you don’t quite fit in anywhere.
Fiona squares her shoulders. If they’re going to see a witch, then let them see a gd witch – she’s not going to hide anymore. And now she has a saucy hat to go with her cackle and I love her.
Emilio is super in her new look (vampire) and her friends rush up to apologize, and she forgives them, especially because she never really gives them a chance to know what a witch is. Then she takes her wand back from Madison. She doesn’t get revenge, just tells her she has an ugly personality. Then she takes care of the roaches and conjures up a cool galaxy for the dance. Cue song: Stars Across the Sky.
She and Emilio float up into the sky and they kiss. He flashes some fang and I was so right about him being a vampire! I always find them! Then they fly on a broomstick across the moon, E.T. style, and guys I love everything about these shows right now.
What did we learn: Accept your family as they are and don’t be ashamed of where you come from.
9 out of 9 saucy hats for extreme cuteness and message of acceptance.
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