Thursday, July 3, 2008

Silent Night Part Two or "Not worth the wait"

Part two of Silent Night opens with the scene of the robbery that Psycho Clay and Pam are taking part of. Unsurprisingly, Clay does what most stereotypical Americans would do in his situation and brought a huge gun! We know were this is going… dun dun dun! A security guard catches them, and instead of surrending peacefully, Clay shoots him! Well, what else could he do, right?

Another classic Fear Street fake out. They run out the department store and Pam gasps! “My car! It’s gone!” End Chapter. They’re trapped! Chapter 17. It’s a little to the right. For real. Haha! Such a cheap scare R.L.! Do you really need that in a SUPER Chiller? Shouldn’t you write, I dunno, actual terrifying events? Anyhoo, we find out the next day that the guard died, and 20 000$ was stolen from the safe. Except: Clay had blanks! And they didn’t take the money! Some one else was there! I bet… Zombie Paraplegic Cheerleader?

We’re finally treated to Reva and her awesome terribleness. Mitch tells Reva he broke up with Lissa but this makes her think he’s a wuss and she refuses to date him. So good! He rages (like all good Fear Street men) and vows revenge!

Unfortunately for Reva, her great day of crushing minions is ruined when someone sends her another creepy gift! She opens up a huge box (albeit suspiciously) and find … A HUMAN CORPSE! End Chapter!!

Chapter19: It’s a mannequin.

Pam is starting to be blackmailed, so she confesses her crime to her adoring boyfriend Foxy. Who I cannot take seriously. I’m picturing a weasel-ly boy with a long, small nose, red hair, beady eyes, pointy ears… o wait, I’m just picturing a fox. Way to screw up your readers R.L.! Pam is soon attacked on her way to Foxy’s house by the blackmailer. And in the dumbest way ever. Just … really. He captures her from behind and tells her “Don’t turn around”. Umm… wow. Really?

SURPRISE! Pam turns around and sees the blackmailer! He’s pissed (his fool-proof plan didn’t work!?!) and pins her down, but luckily a car drives by and he runs off.

Reva is at work the next day after taking her devilishly handsome little brother to see Santa. She got another huge package but refuses to be scared of it. So she open’s it and finds Mitch’s body crumpled in the bottom with a huge knife in it! This book really wasted the End Chapter tension! Puts the big body discovery a page away from the end of the chapter? Doesn’t R.L. know the formula by now? JEEZ! I might as well write it myself if they’re this shiat.

Ugh this books is really boring. Okay so: Turns out Robb (Fat Santa Clause?) is really Foxy and he is arrested for Mitch’s murder. Except he couldn’t have done it because he was with Pam! So this leads to some cousin bonding. Reva goes into the store late that night to find her dad and runs into Mr. Wakely (the fired security guard?) and he confesses to the robbery, shooting the guard, and killing Mitch. Then he tries to kill Reva by jumping at her (?) but sails by, lands on a Christmas tree below which shorts out, electrocuting him. Thankfully this tragedy warms Reva’s heart so she gets back together with Hank (cruelly dumped ex-boyfriend?) and befriends Pam and Foxy/Robb.

But what about the needle in the lipstick, the blood and the mannequin you ask? O that was Foxy/Robb. But Reva’s not mad, because she feels she deserved it after making Robb be Santa Clause. Um… WHAT? Yeah, Reva is a cold hearted bitch but he put a NEEDLE in her LIPSTICK! What if she had accidentally jabbed it into her eye?! She could be blind! I really don’t think I would just brush that one off. “O ha ha Robb, you pull the best pranks! You really taught me a lesson… never to let you near my stuff again!”

So this Super Chiller was SUPER disappointing. Although L.K. Stine was right, the needle thing sticks with you, the rest of the book was pretty forgettable. We only had one major murder (and one secondary murder), and it wasn’t even in a crazy way! Where are the hands down the garborator? Where are the heads being chopped off by piano wire while skiing? I give it a One murder out of Eight potential murders wasted. Boooo!

A.M. Stine


Grocery Crush said...

I can't help wondering, do the super chillers cost more money?
What was the idea behind all the 'bigger is better' editions in the world of young adult reads back then? Archie's 'Double Digest', and whatever the babysitters club double editions were called...

Nelle said...

I can answer this...5 yrs later!

Yes, they did. My copy of this cost me about $12 back in 1996, a typical Fear Street was about $7 in comparison.

RecallerReminder said...

What a twist! I didnt expected that...But the best of the book is definetly Reva since she is soooo bitchy to everyone except his little brotehr (awww, thats cute). And is funny how she learned her lesson...just until the sequel tee hee.

Lance Anderson said...

I was a big fan of Reva, even though she's unabashedly terrible. I really think he should revist her either in an anthology series that shows what she's been up yo until now. Or maybe just a part four, staring her very own teenage daughter. Only this time she's the overbearing socialite mother/CEO of Dalby's department stores, who has managed to grow the brand, but is a terror in life. She's going through a divorce from a weak willed tech billionaire and her daughter has to work with her at the store for Christmas break and it starts over. Essentially it's her daughter trying to pay her back for being a terrible mother that's more concerned with profit margins and humiliating her father than their family. But! Her plan gets hijacked by a real psychopath. But we had technology now and far more gratuitous death in more inventive ways.